Scene #2511: I'm Not Having A Crisis, she said, in the middle of a crisis

Owner	Pose
Ikuko Tsukino	Rashmi, Nephrite, and Zoisite ran off to the library to do research, the Shitennou went off to do... Shitennou stuff with Mamoru, the Outer Senshi are with the King, Makochan went to the kitchen with a few others, Chibiusa-chan went back to her bedroom and probably needs a little quiet... And Usagi has wandered back near the castle's entrance, standing beside the crystal that her older self is hidden within. The stone platform would be waist high to Makoto, which means it's somewhere near Usagi's ribcage, and looking through the enormous, spiky growth of crystal is hard - it's not translucent, but somewhat milky, partially hiding Neo Queen Serenity from view. Usagi Tsukinoot everyone who came to the future has arrived in the castle just yet. That's why Usagi's here - waiting, to direct anyone else who's coming. ...but admittedly, she's also unable to really look away.
Catra	Catra hasn't entered the castle yet. She's been here for some time, but for whatever reason, the feline has remained outside, prowling about or... whatever it is that she's doing. This isn't a world she feels a great deal of connection to; it's the future of a planet she does not particularly like in the first place, afterall. Not that she ever really like Etheria all that much either. Realizing that you dislike every planet you've ever been to and unlike the majority of people you've been to more than one, is an awkward way to feel. So, she's still outside. Just outside, now. Her tuxedo is still black with red and orange highlights, like cracks in lava; and she's sitting on a piece of rubble with Powersend in hand, and the first sign Usagi might get that she is where she is would be the soft scrape of a whetstone, carefully and almost affectionately drawn across the blade.
Ikuko Tsukino	Her future self is ''her'', only - older. Prettier, it seems like, though with how she's sleeping - unconscious - in a coma - that's maybe a hard sell. But... still, watching her sleep, for too long, is maybe a little weird. Especially when everyone else is doing something useful, even if she's not sure what ''she'' can do that's useful that no one else can. It's not like she'll make a good researcher. ...and then there's a noise, a scrape, a rasp, from the opened doors of the Crystal Palace, and Usagi turns slowly, frowning. It can't be the Black Moon Clan, right? They'd just attack, surely. But then - Walking to the door, and then to the stairs, she blinks. "Catra-san?"
Catra	"Yep." Catra keeps drawing the stone over the sword -- not that it's likely to really need it that much, it is a magic sword made by Riventon, afterall -- and doesn't look up. Mind you, her ears do swivel in Usagi's direction, which might give the game away that she is in fact listening. The stone rasps the blade, doing her best to exude an air of feline aloofness and preferred solitude. But even so, she might be a cat and not a human being, but she's still a teenager, sitting there with her shoulders hunched over, looking like she's torn between turning around and not doing so. "That's me," she adds, at last, just... to fill the air with something other than silence and the rasping sound of stone on steel.
Ikuko Tsukino	"Got tired halfway through?" It's a light question, not mocking, but also - sure that it's not correct. Really, a wrong answer lobbed for Catra to correct. Because it's odd to see her just sitting there, waiting. "Most everyone else made it up to the Palace by now. There's rooms and stuff, Jupiter-chan's taken over the kitchen." An offer, in so many words.
Catra	Catra shrugs her shoulders listlessly. "As long as there's plenty of meat," she grumbles. "I can't do a vegetarian diet." This might seem like an odd thing to get upset about in particular, at leats, right at this moment. The stone scrapes the blade. Catra's ears flatten out, and she hunches her shoulders. The stone rasps the steel. Her tail twitches behind her, and she grits her teeth -- not that Usagi can say that. Scrape. Scrape. Scrape. "Why am I even here?" she blurts out at last, tucking the whetsone in a pocket and slamming Powersend into its scabbard with a loud click. "I mean sure, I get that I got myself fired from Obsidian so ''I'' am desperately in need of people to hang out with, because I ''can'' take care of myself but Obsidian is basically an army and I'm not stupid enough to think I can take them all on alone. Even if Riventon and Glimmer aren't out to get me." She pauses and mutters "And Glimmer has the brain of a grasshopper but whatever." "But I'm still... I'm still ''me'', it's not like all the things I did before I suddenly didn't do. I still fought you guys. A lot. I still tried to help Hordak take over Etheria. I still pulled the damn switch. So what, you all think that because I'm not with obsidian anymore, that I'm suddenly a nice person and I've changed my ways or something? I don't think it works like that!" Catra rests her elbows on her knees, as the entire tirade gets hurled off into the distance, without turning to look at Usagi. "Why on Etheria are you all trusting me? ''I'' wouldn't trust me!"
Ikuko Tsukino	"I think there's a koi pond in one of the gardens," is the response to Catra's dietary concerns, Usagi tapping her chin with a finger as she considers this. "I think I heard someone mention that. And there's probably some preserved meat here." Food is a very important thing, so it would make sense for Catra to be listless and upset over the thought of not having the foods she needs. Except, that's clearly not what it's about. She's sharpening her sword aggressively, and then - ah there she goes, popping off! Usagi listens as Catra blurts out her deepest thoughts, her worries, her frustrations, her I'm a villain speech tirade, and when it's over, when Catra is resting her elbows on her knees, she snaps her fingers. "Ohhhh, I get it! You're having a crisis!" She nods so sharply that her twintails bounce with the motion, odango shifting atop her head. "Do you want like, a serious answer with lots of emotional honesty, or um, a more blunt one?"
Catra	Catra sighs audibly, and she visibly deflates, somehow managing to hunch down a little more. She rubs her forehead, which is purely cover for rubbing her eyes as she drops her arm back down to where it was. "I'm not having a crisis," she snaps while in the middle of having a crisis. "I just... How does ''any'' of this make sense? We're in the far future of a world that I've never liked in the first place to fix a problem that's never goingto affect me in the slightest, or at least wouldn't have if I hadn't come along, and it's not like I should care about this even a little bit, but I ''do'' care about it and I don't understand why that would be because this makes no sense. I can't even show my face on earth most of the time because I'm a cat and people would freak out or something. I have no reason at all to care." Catra rubs her forehead once again, and once again it's cover for wiping her eyes. "Well, Adora would be blunt because she doesn't know how to be anything else, so emotional honesty would be a nice change of pace."
Ikuko Tsukino	Usagi very politely doesn't point out that that's what ''everyone'' in the middle of having a crisis says. Instead, she waits for Catra to get out of the denial, and start venting, some more, because - Well, it makes perfect sense to her. Sure, Catra doesn't like Earth, but she likes Chibiusa, enough to kidnap her that one time, even. Why wouldn't she come to help? "Okay, so remember that you asked for this, okay?" Usagi says, and then sits herself down on the stairs, not too close to Catra, but definitely more on the same playing field. "It makes sense because none of us think you're some scary, awful monster, the way you think you are. Sure, you could turn on us, and sure, you aren't like, the nicest person in the world, but you don't ''have'' to be. No one's asking for that! I think, because of all the messed up stuff you've been through, you have this idea that like... there are Good People and Bad People, and you're a Bad People, but we're all just people. We all make good choices and bad choices and none of us are ever like... none of us are ''just good by default'', you know?" She probably doesn't know. "You did horrible things, Catra. Things you might not ever be forgiven for. Things that you might have nightmares about for the rest of your life. Some of them, because you wanted to survive. Some of them because you were angry. There's probably things you did, you don't really even remember ''why'' you did them, right?" "But the reason you're here is because you like Chibiusa, and you wanted to help her. The reason we're letting you is because you want to do better, even if you don't know how. The reason we ''understand'' is because - because ''anyone'' can fuck up. Any can do horrible things. Just because we try to save the world all the time, it doesn't mean we haven't done things we have nightmares about too."
Catra	"I wasn't raised to be 'nice'," Catra sulks, still not turning to face Usagi. "Actually I was barely raised at all. Outside of my performance in combat training Shadow Weaver only ever acknowledged my existence if she was threatening to end it. Not that Adora ever helped, she ''PROMISED'' to protect me but she never did anything that would ever have put her on Shadow Weaver's bad side, she just acted like a big hero when she wasn't around. All I ever learned from anyone was that weakness is immediately punished." The cat purses her lips. Why did she admit all that? Why tell Usagi of all people? "I know exactly why I did everything," she grumbles, and her voice hardens as she speaks, working its way into a sharpened edge. "Exactly why I did everything. Why I beat Shadow Weaver and broke her conncetion to the Black Garnet. Why I hunted Adora. Why I helped Hordak fight the Rebellion and the Princess Alliance. Why I took the sword and opened the portal. Why I lied to Hordak and was working on dethroning him, too. Why I pushed everyone around me as ''far away as I could'', and treated Entrapta and Scorpia like garbage." Catra abruptly realizes she's fidgeting, almost to the point of wringing her hands together; soe she stops, and carefully puts her hands back down on her knees. "And sure I get nightmares. But I'm not confused about anything."
Ikuko Tsukino	She could share some of her insights into Adora - from talking to both the older, and younger versions. But why would she? Catra and Adora's baggage is long and old and it never seems to really work out for ''either'' of them. She's not going to be the one to try and tip it over. "...I wish I could say I understand, but I don't," Usagi says slowly. "My parents are wonderful, and they did their best to raise me well. I never ''needed'' someone to protect me from my own parent, and I can't imagine how hard that would be. But..." And she pauses. "Aren't you having a crisis ''because'' you're confused? Sorry, not having a crisis, aren't you sorta, questioning why and how you're here, because you're confused?"
Catra	"I'm not--!!" Catra starts, and then stops before finishing that thought. "Okay fine, there's some things I haven't... made sense of yet." Catra sighs, and drops her face into her hands. She grinds her palms against herself as though somehow that would help. "I can't imagine what that's like. Being a child and being able to just, I don't know, ''be''. Just sit and watch TV or play with a friend or whatever and not worry that other kids are going to beat you up, or the adults are going to beat you up, or you might go without super for a week because you did badly in a combat test, or..." she sighs, exhaling audibly though her nose. "Whatever," she mutters. "I didn't ask to be treated like that. I didn't ask to be taught that that's the only way the world works. I didn't ask for it and I didn't deserve it." The feline curls her tail around herself, and finally looks over her shoulder towards the palace, but picked the shoulder on the opposite side to where Usagi is sitting. "I don't get how I ended up with the Spirit Ember either. Apparently it was supposed to go to someone 'worthy' or something. And it's mine. And the... spirits or whatever told me that it was ''always'' mine, and I don't get that either. But it's not like I can actually use it. Sparkles told me how it's supposed to work but it's ''not working''. Clearly I'm not actually worthy. I..." Catra sucks in a breath and lets it out in a rush. "It's like if I go inside and I'm just chummy with everyone, then either I'm lieing to everyone, or they're lieing to me, or we're all lieing to each other, and the biggest lie of all is that I might be able to help but what if we're in a big fight and I can't make the stupid rock work and, I don't know, what if ''the person'' I cam here to protect gets hurt over it?"
Ikuko Tsukino	Usagi waits. And Catra spills more of her guts, her head in her hands. "That's right. You didn't deserve any of that - you didn't ask for it, and also like, even if you had, only someone super messed up would listen to that ask, anyway." "And like, I mean, it's not like you can just undo any of that. You didn't get to have a regular, happy childhood, so of course you don't really... get what that's like? But - in the spirit of emotional honesty and stuff! - of course you're worthy! And if Sparkles is Glimmer... I mean, no offense, but of ''course'' she doesn't know how to help you with the Spirit Ember." Her tone is so matter of fact that Glimmer probably ''would'' be offended. "As far as I can tell, Glimmer's more like me than like you. She had a mom to actually raise her, and she had people who loved her, and she had this power that's hers, and however she connects with ''her'' power, is going to be different from you because ''you're not her''." Obviously. "You're worthy of the power because it's yours. It's not anyone else's, and it never wanted to be anyone elses, 'cause those cats were all about ''you''. Maybe you're overthinking it." A problem few people can accuse Usagi of. And she hums a little, leaning back against the stairs. They are not comfortable. "You're not lying to us. We're not lying to you. We've all agreed to help each other - you're not promising to be our bestest friend forever, you're saying you'll be on our side for ''this'' problem. As long as that's true, there's no lies. And as for the powers... I ''really'' think you could be overthinking it. It's your power. Maybe worrying about it too much is making it go out, like, when you accidentally breathe on a candle while you're lighting it."